Steps for Tech Abuse

If you know or feel you or someone you know is the target of technology-facilitated abuse then here is a short guide of the steps you can take.

Please note – this is general advice and you are ultimately responsible for conducting the proper research or engaging help if you need it.

Stop. Are you dealing with a serious threat to your own safety and wellbeing?

Yes – Serious Threat or Risk

⚠️ IMMEDIATE SAFETY WARNING

If you are in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000).

Do not use your own device to research safety plans or contact help if you suspect it is monitored. Use a library computer, a friend’s phone, or a work device.

Trust your instincts. If you feel like someone knows too much about your location or private conversations, you are likely right.

Phase 1: Establish a “Safe Zone”

Before you change settings or delete anything, you must establish a secure way to communicate and plan. If your abuser is monitoring your device, they will see you changing passwords or searching for “how to remove spyware,” which can escalate the danger.

Get a Burner or Safe Device: Purchase a cheap, prepaid phone with cash, or use a trusted friend’s device. Do not sign into your existing accounts (iCloud/Google) or apps on this new device.
Create New Accounts: Set up a new, secure email address (e.g., via ProtonMail or Gmail) on the safe device. Use a name that doesn’t identify you.
Secure Communication: Use this safe device for all contact with support services, lawyers, banks, and trusted friends regarding your safety plan.

Phase 2: Preserve the Evidence

Your instinct may be to delete abusive messages or wipe your phone immediately. Do not do this yet. Evidence is crucial for police reports and Intervention Orders (AVOs/DVOs).

Turn the device on flight-mode so it does not sync: if your abuser deletes messages of iCloud for example your device will also remove them.
Do not delete messages: Keep all texts, emails, and call logs.
Take Screenshots: Screenshot abusive messages, social media posts, and location check-ins.
- Tip: If the abuse is on a platform like Snapchat where messages disappear, use a different phone to take a photo of the screen.
Keep a Journal: Write down dates, times, and details of incidents. Note specific phrases the abuser uses that suggest they know things they shouldn’t (e.g., “I know you were at the cafe”).

Phase 3: Secure Your Accounts (The Cloud)

Most “hacking” is actually just someone logging into your account because they know the password.

Read this section a few times so your comfortable with what your about to do. In essence we are logging in each account, cleaning it out, changing the password and then making sure only you can be asked for any future changes.

For each account in order of your plan:Most “hacking” is actually just someone logging into your account because they know the password.

Log in to the account from a safe device: If you can’t or it says you need permission then think carefully about where it is asking to send the verification to. If you don’t recognise it then think about leaving this account for later, or if you really need it at all since the check will probably be sent to the abuser.
Check “Logged-In Devices”:
- Go to settings in Google, Facebook, WhatsApp, and iCloud. Look for a list of “Devices” or “Active Sessions.”
- If you see a device you don’t recognize (e.g., “Windows PC” when you only own a Mac), log it out immediately. Or better yet, log them all out.
Change Passwords:
- Change the password.
- Crucial: Do not just change the password; check the Recovery Email/Phone Number. Abusers often add their own email as a recovery method to regain access if you lock them out. So change it to a known safe number and/or the new email account you created.
Enable 2-Factor Authentication (2FA):
- Turn on 2FA so a code is required to log in.
- Warning: Ensure the code is sent to a new safe phone number or the new safe email account, not the device the abuser monitors.
Check Location Sharing: Your goal here is to turn it off at the profile/account level so it applies to any and all devices now and into the future. Sometimes you can do this via a web login, but services like snapchat only have these settings in the app.
- iPhone: Check “Find My,” iMessage location sharing, and Snapchat “Ghost Mode.”
- Google Maps: Check “Location Sharing” in the menu.
- Life360/Family Apps: Check if you are part of a “Family” group that tracks you.

Phase 4: Device Safety & Stalkerware

If you suspect stalkerware (spyware hidden on your phone), removing it can alert the abuser.

Do Not Factory Reset Yet: If you reset the phone, you lose the evidence of the spyware. Put the device in flight mode until you are ready to do a complete factory reset “apps and data”.
Physical Trackers (AirTags/Tiles):
- Check your car (wheel wells, under seats), handbag, and coat lining.
- If you find an AirTag, do not destroy it immediately if you need evidence. Leave it until you can give it to the police.

Phase 5: Get Professional Help (Australia)

Tech abuse is complex. You need experts who can help you “clean” your digital life without alerting the abuser.

eSafety Commissioner: They have a specific power to order the removal of “image-based abuse” (revenge porn) and cyberbullying material.
- Website: esafety.gov.au

No serious threat, I just want to regain control

Phase 1: Planning

Before you change settings or delete anything, plan out the steps you need to go through. If the person is monitoring accounts or has added themselves yto your accounts to rest passwords then they will also get notifications as soon as you start actioning the plan.

Create a New Email Account: Set up a new, secure email address (e.g., via ProtonMail or Gmail) on a new/friends’ device. Use a name that doesn’t identify you.
- You are going to try and recover your existing accounts, but this one will be used as the backup email address for those accounts that ask for it.
Pen and Paper: Write down all your key accounts and the priority order of their importance to you. Some accounts are connected to others, or your abuser may have added new accounts and email addressed as backups which could be used to revert changes, so it will be key to go through the process quickly and starting with the ones that are most important to you
- Notes:
  - some accounts are central to a lot of other access (e.g. ‘sign-in with google’ is used by people sometimes and so getting back your google account will be key)
  - Apple devices syncronise messages and other items across devices, logging out all other devices from your account settings once you login is important to regain access and disconnect anyone you don’t want having access quickly.
  - Most people have upwards of 100 accounts these days, once you start including online shopping, hobbies, financial institutions, government etc. Take your time to have a good think about all the important ones and have a look through your apps list and bookmarks.